Monday, October 29, 2007

Greetings from fall weather...

Did you know it's fall in Texas for a grand total of 2 DAYS??
Fall is my favorite season... so here I am in the great state of North Carolina where it SHOULD be fall, but it's not. At least not YET.
Somehow this feels a lot like my life right now. There are a lot of things that SHOULD be but aren't. Not yet. I should have a place to call my own. I should have a home. I should be ready to leave the country. I should be so excited about leaving.
But if I'm being honest, I would say that's what i SHOULD be, but I'm not.
I truly believe that this time of transition is one of the hardest I've had to go through. I constantly feel God is stripping me of everything that I consider ME... taking away my roommate, my apartment, my stuff, my comforts, my country, my family and leaving me WHAT?
An adventure called my future. As nervous as I am about leaving, I believe this will be my favorite time of year (kinda like fall), but it's not yet. It's a time of everything being new, drawing near to the heart of God, and waiting.
I listened to a Latin pastor the other day and he said, "I can't swim, but I can float. A lot of Christians can swim... they can work REAL HARD for Jesus, but they have a real hard time floating. They can't just float in the arms of the Lord as HE carries them."
That is me. I am having a hard time floating, but with the help of the Lord, yo puedo flotar (translation: I can float).

Sunday, October 7, 2007

I don't need you silly letter...

This morning as I was driving to the church, I was fretting. Fretting over ALL the things i NEED to do and ALL the things I haven't done yet. Then I started fretting about money. All I could think was, 'I haven't even sent out my support letters yet!' And I feel like God just spoke to my heart and said, "I don't NEED your silly letters." And to be real honest, I was thinking, that couldn't be God. He doesn't say SILLY letters. But SILLY really was the right word.
When I got to church, I started talking to a lady whose granddaughter knows me, but I don't really even know her. As we talked, this beautiful woman of God looked at me and said, "I feel like God is telling me to support you in your mission to Ecuador." I was verge tears as the words, "I don't need your silly letter" rang in my ears.
He has chosen to use those letters, but he doesn't NEED them. He has called me to this place and will provide my way to get there. Thank you Jesus for being bigger than me.