The wild ride continues...

Sitting at the living room table watching the warm rain pour down my windowpane I am reminded that I am home, in Loja Ecuador. It’s hard to believe that I’ve been here an entire YEAR! One down, one to go…
December 2008 ended with one wild ride that didn’t slow down from the time I stepped foot on American soil until I stepped off. From December 8th until January 6th I had 9 flights, was in 4 states, spoke at 3 churches, had 2 road trips and got to see 1 cute little nephew! It was a month well worth it.
Out of all the people I saw and all the things I did, I’m trying to pinpoint one thing to share with you and it would have to be the very last message that I heard in Loveland before I got on the plane. Our pastor was speaking about the power of the Holy Spirit and how He doesn’t have boundaries, but sometimes we like to draw these lines of what God can and cannot do. In that moment, the Lord spoke to me about this next year. Most of you know that I am changing jobs starting February 1st … I’m going from volunteering at El Sendero to managing it. And the Lord told me, Are you willing to cut all boundaries of what I can and cannot do? Are you willing to walk not having a clue what you’re doing in order for me to blow you away with my power?
This means a lack of control on my part. It means that I will have to let go and let God do whatever he wants to do whether or not its in my “plans.” If you know me at all, you know that this is very difficult for me. I like to at least FEEL like I’m in control. But He is saying to me: Are you willing to let go of ALL control in order for me to work?
That “lack of control” started as of this week with the train for this new manager position. He is showing me that everything is his. I have to LET GO of everything that defined last year AND everything I “hope” will be this year.
Even in the face of all this scariness, I want to say: YES! I don’t want my dwarfed dreams, I’d rather take the dangerous road. So here’s to one great adventure!
This next year is going to be a trip… one that I could never dream up, I’d love if you’d come along for the ride.

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Take the Lead

As you watch them float across the floor you think she must be a professional, but little does anyone know that is has very little to do with her.
The other night I went to watch one of my friends sing with her band and afterwords people started dancing and as per usual, the salsa began. One of the guys walked up to one of my friends and asked her to dance.
For the next 20 minutes we all sat and stared as he led her across the dance floor as if they’d been dancing together for years. He pushed her where he wanted to go and all she did was just follow his lead through the twists, turns and steps.
As I sat in amazement the Lord spoke to me heart, ‘That’s what I want to do with you.’ At first I was a little confused. The Lord wants to teach me how to salsa? But as I watched I realized that this guy was making my friend look good. He displayed her beauty for all to see. There were only 2 or 3 times where it seemed like they didn’t know what was going on and you know where that was? When she tried to lead and when she didn’t follow his lead.

Here are the words He was speaking to me:
‘I want to lead you where I want you to go. I know how to show your beauty to the world so that they see ME in YOU. But the moment you step forward and try and take the lead, my glory will not be displayed in you. The moment you don’t follow my urgings is the moment you will fall. So let go, take my hand and let me take the lead.’

If you have ever seen me salsa, you know that follow-the-leader is not my strong suit. I can salsa with the girls, having fun and playing around, but the moment that another person steps in the picture trying to lead me around the floor is the moment someone’s feet get stepped on. I like to know what I’m doing, where I’m going and who’s in control. The Lord has made that clear to me. To have the adventure of my life, I must let him take the lead.

Give to Anyone who has Need?

When you see people hurting what do you do? I am always tempted to turn the other way... to walk in the other direction... to ignore the problem. Well, today I came face to face with this exact thing. I need to preface this with something I heard on a podcast the other day. I was listening to Matt Chandler's series on Luke. He was talking about turning the other cheek, giving people your cloak and giving to anyone as he has need. It's something that stuck with me because he said it wasn't our job to judge if someone was scamming or not; if you felt God telling you to give, give without looking for anything in return.
Well, today I came face to face with this exact situation. A woman walked into our shop with a sob story about her son being in the hospital, being from another city and not being able to buy his medicine. So, we went to the local pharmacy and bought her the medicine she needed. I talked to her a while about her children and her situation. I prayed for her and went back to work.
About an hour later, she came back to tell me that she needed the receipt for the medicine because she needed to return it. As I inquired as to why, she burst into tears telling me that her 8 year old son had just died. My heart broke for her. The other wise women in my shop were a little more weary that I, so one of them took her back to the pharmacy and it turned out that she tried to take the medicine back before to get the money, but couldn't without the receipt.
Gloria came back to explain all this to me and told me that I had been played by this woman. This woman had used my concern for her to try and get money.
At first, I was mad. I can't believe this woman used my concern for her benefit! And then I thought about that verse in Luke and how many people "used" Jesus to get what they wanted (and he KNEW they were using him!). But he gave as they had need. If the only thing that this woman got today was $15 and seeing that someone had concern for her, I truly believe it was what I was called to do without casting judgment.

Bare...

All is laid bare… nothing is hidden from his sight. I can almost see it now, standing naked before the judge with the accuser screaming insults, displaying all of my faults before judge and jury. The accuser points his finger as I shrink back knowing that all he says is so horribly true. His case is so solid, “She SAYS she follows you, but look at her! Look at that pride, the ugliness in her heart, her lust, her idols! Do you really want that?!” As the judge is about to pronounce sentence upon me, my High Priest steps in, and before I realize what is happening, he swoops me up into his arms. I cry out, “No! I’m too dirty, I don’t deserve…” My muffled cries are silenced as he whispers in my ear, “I have taken your place. Your sins are forgiven” The shrieks of the accuser are silenced as my Priest declares, “She is mine. My blood paid for that pride, ugliness, lust, sin. I have given myself for her.” He looks on my filthy body with love. Through my tears, he sees me. Through my filth, he sees his grace. “Nothing can separate you from my love.” My lover has come for me.

As I read Hebrews 4 this morning, this was the scene that was laid out before me. All is laid bare before Him. How much more bare do you get than naked… and thanks to the first sin, in that state is where you will feel the most shame. God sees what you try to hide. He is not fooled by your mask or your good deeds. His Word is able to divide bone and marrow, don’t you think he can see who YOU really are?? He cannot look upon your sin and do nothing, otherwise he would not be just. So, he chose to do something. He chose to send you a High Priest who has been there. He DWELT among us. He didn’t belong on this earth, but he chose to be here… to be one of us, to be with us. To sit in the dirt and to know what is was to be human. And in that dwelling, he suffered and he died. So when the accuser begins his tirade, our High Priest can step in and say, “I have made the ultimate sacrifice once for all. The righteous for the unrighteous.”

I don’t know where you are right now, but I know that the Creator of the Universe wants to pick up the broken pieces of you and make you useful. He has shown me today all that he has given up for me. And through my muffled cries, I hear the words that save me, “You are mine.”

Just a thought...

As I was sitting in Church today looking at all the youth, I thought about all the youth I saw on the street on Friday night. There are literally thousands of teenagers in Loja. What do we do with all these teenagers who are lost and desperately needing a Savior? How do we reach these thousands of high school and college students? It feels like something that can never be achieved. But then as the pastor spoke, I began to think back to the time of Christ and their mission… not just to reach a city, but to reach the world. Now THAT was something unachievable.

I have been giving some serious thought to how this might be done in Ecuador and to be quite honest I have no idea. Well, I have half an idea but have no idea how to carry out that half of an idea. I guess it’s the same idea that they had thousands of years ago and the same one they will have a thousand years from now. You must teach other people how to share the gospel. If you just attempt to do it solo, you will only get so far.

This morning as I sat in church I became impassioned about how to get these kids to know Christ and how to equip and empower them to share the power of the living Gospel with another. And this is what I came up with NOTHING.

I had a million and one ideas… having a youth conference, learning Spanish really fast and becoming a motivational speaker for Loja teenagers (yeah this one went out the door really fast!), rallying the youth pastors and teaching them how to teach their students… and seriously in the 2 hours that I sat there, the list could have gone on and on (and not all of the ideas were that bad), but THIS is what I heard from the Lord… pray.

Pray that HE would give just the right idea… you could do exactly the same thing as someone else did in a town 20 miles from you, which worked beautifully and it could completely flop in Loja. HE is the God of original ideas. He knows what Loja youth need and how they need it. It might not even include me… He is calling me in this moment to love people and to pray.

So that is what I am asking you to do… my heart is bursting right now over the lost ness of the youth in Loja… even the “believing” youth in Loja live life like they have little or no purpose. So would you beseech the Lord with me… would you partner with me and allow yourself to be burdened for the people of Loja?

It’s just a thought….

Hole in My Heart

One wants to be loved so badly that she will settle for someone who isn’t what she really wants. Another will be with someone who is married because he shows her a little attention. Mind you that attention is only when he feels like it and when he’s not with his other family. And then there is the last one who will be with more than one someone just to fill the gapping hole that is in her soul.

My heart has been broken by these women. I cannot figure out how beautiful, intelligent, fun women would stoop this low just to have someone to fill their hearts. They are looking for someone to complete a part of them that was only meant to be filled by One. Why do we as women desire relationship in such a powerful way that we are willing to sacrifice our heart to get it.

I wonder if that’s why Jesus mentions his interactions with women on so many occasions. When he speaks to the woman at the well, “You are right when you say you have no husband, for you have had 5 husbands and the man you are now with is not your husband,” I wonder if he is speaking to every woman’s heart. He’s pointing out to us, LOOK you are looking for someone to fill your emptiness! Only in ME will you find satisfaction.

So, next time you want to settle, next time you think that you can’t get any better, next time you think that all you need is a little more, I want you to remember that the God of the Universe has come to you to say, Nothing on this earth will satisfy… come to me and let me fill you.

Weakness...

Children have been teaching me more than I would care to admit these days. The most recent is about weakness. I was holding my friend’s 1 ½ month old baby boy when it struck me how cute we find weakness when they are this age. It doesn’t bother us that this baby can’t do anything on his own. It doesn’t bother us that he cries (well, most of the time). It doesn’t bother us that he is weak, he knows it, you know it… the WORLD knows he can’t do it by himself.

But the older we get the more we start to think, ‘I can do this by myself. I don’t need anyone’s help. I can do it self!’ (Something Danny, the lil’ boy to the left is heard saying on a very regular basis). And as we get older still we start seeing weakness as a bad thing. We start viewing it as inability to do it “self” so we try to prove to the world that we are not weak and that we can somehow manage all of life without help.

I started thinking of all the weakness found in the Bible…let’s see we have Adam who couldn’t do it right even though he only had ONE rule. Then we have Abraham who calls his wife his sister… and then Moses who couldn’t speak. Let’s not forget Gideon the least of the least of his family (and you think YOU’RE the black sheep!). And David the adulterer, murderer, naked dancer… how long is his list?? Jonah, the guy who ran from God. Flip to the New Testament and we find Peter who talks WAY too much and acts on impulse. Paul killed followers of Christ and can’t see to save his life. We have tax collectors, prostitutes, and just outright sinners. This is a list of people who, when measured up fall short on every level… but SOMEHOW God chose to use weakness. He loves to use weakness.

But we hate it… I hate it. I hate admitting that I need someone else to do it for me or worse yet that I can’t do it and no one can do it for me. I’m just stuck. As I was reading it 1 Cor 1 the other day, I came across this verse that I love, “God uses the foolishness of the world to shame the wise.” He LOVES to use weakness because when he does his power is made known. I feel SO weak in my Spanish… in my relationships… in pretty much all I do and that is exactly where God wants me to be so that I will depend on him FULLY. Kinda like the lil’ baby I was holding, God sees me as cute and loves to care in my weakness… my weakness is a strength in the hands of a strong God.

What Now?

What do you write when you’re just in one of those moods… when the injustice of the world has slapped you in the face… when you are heartbroken by the lost state of people … when you ask God for things you know he can do but for some reason he chooses not to? What do you say then?

For some reason today I’ve been hit by all these thoughts. I spent the day with a girl who lives only for the weekend and the next party. I watched a movie that reminded me about injustice and the lost state of the world. I was drawn to my knees to pray for an entire city when I know nothing will happen unless God intervenes.

So what now? I MUST remember the goodness of God. I am blown away that we have a God who sent his Son when he didn’t have to. We serve a God who gave up all the glories of heaven to come to this crappy earth and live with me and you. We serve a God who says: this is love. Not that we love God but that he loved us and sent his son for our sins. THIS is LOVE!

In moments like these, I MUST remember that God chases after lost people. I MUST remind myself that his heart is ripped apart by injustice. I MUST cling to the truth that I serve a BIG GOD who can change the course of history with the wave of his hand.

He IS good and I refuse to serve any other.

Do you believe a frog can jump out of your ear?

This summer, I was talking to a friend of mine who had lost his phone while we were in Africa. I told him that I believed that God was so powerful that he could make a frog jump out of my ear, so if he wanted to make his phone appear, he could. That’s easy to say when it has nothing to do with you. It’s hard to say when its your story.

Here’s my story: the other day I was working at El Sendero and through a series of events, my purse got left out in the café for no more than a minute. But in that minute, it was gone. My camera, my immigration card, the keys to my apartment and my money were all gone. At the time, it didn’t really phase me. “It’s just stuff; completely and totally replaceable.” Then I found out what a pain in the butt it was to replace an immigration card and started realizing how much I really do use my camera.

I felt a little put out and frustrated; not at the loss of stuff but at the pain it was to get it replaced. Today God brought a story to my mind. It’s in Matthew where Jesus fed 5000 people and then again another 4000. After all that had happened, the disciples and Jesus were going somewhere and the disciples forgot to bring bread. Jesus was telling them to beware of the yeast of the Pharisees and they all said to one another, “Its because we forgot the bread.” And Jesus rebukes them saying, “Didn’t I just feed 5000 and then another 4000, this isn’t about the bread!”

I realized that I can watch Jesus do miracles and see him provide, but many times when it comes down to it, I don’t believe he’ll do it for me. Somehow I don’t believe that he has my best in mind. What a lie from Satan!

So, right now, I’m praying that the Lord will miraculously bring back my bag in one piece. And even if he doesn’t, that’s ok because I’m learning yet another lesson that everything He does in life is for HIS GLORY and if He receives glory through my bag being taken, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Where would I be without you?

Bugs and I do not get along. But this weekend while we were camping there was a certain bug that constantly intrigued me... the leaf cutter ant. I watched them march along carrying these huge leaves and pieces of food. (I was a little worried that they were going to carry me away in my sleep.)
One specific little ant caught my eye as I was walking along. He was struggling to carry a leaf that was clearly too big for him. I watched another ant come up and carry not only the leaf but the fellow ant.
I began to think of my friends, the people who have come along side me and lifted not only my burden but me as well. I am reminded of the verse that says, "Two are better than one... If they fall down, they can help each other up. But pity those who fall and have no one to help them up!" -Ecc 4: 9
Friend, thank you for always being there to carry not only me but my burden as well.