Saturday, April 24, 2010

Calm in the midst of the storm...

“Be still and know that I am God.” I do not sit well nor am I good at being still. So when God told me to be still for the week instead of looking for jobs and trying to figure out what I am doing next, it made me crazy. As I was reading in Matthew the other day, he gave me this:
After Jesus fed the 5000, he went away to a place to pray and be alone. He sent his disciples ahead of him and it was during that time that a fierce storm arose to toss them about the sea like a toy boat. He went to them… walking on the water. What did Peter do? In his hast to know that it was Jesus, he asked for the impossible. “Tell me to come to you on the water.” He received the answer that was the one he wanted and dreaded at the same time, “Come.” So he went, stepped out to do the unimaginable and in doing so was faced with his biggest weakness, his own fear. He barely had a chance to get out, “Save me!” than Jesus was there holding on to him, putting him back in the boat.
I felt like emotionally, I was having the same battle. But instead of waves, they were people. And I, like Peter must stand in the midst of them rushing all around me. There was an inward struggle of wanting to just run with them, but a gentle voice that whispered, “Be still.” I felt them around me, nudging, pushing, shoving… all moving forward and me standing still. Finally, I would throw my hands up in complete frustration and scream out to Jesus, “Save me! I can’t do this alone!” My eyes were opened as I looked down to see his arms wrapped around me. I saw his bruised and broken body covering mine. When I felt a small nudge, Jesus was actually taking a deep blow in my place. I thought I was getting pushed around, but really he was taking the painful beating. Through the noise and chaos, I heard his gentle voice whispered in my ear as his arms were covering my fragile self, “I will not, I will not, I will not in any degree leave you helpless, nor forsake you, nor relax my grip on you, assuredly not.”
My word from Jesus through all of this: Enjoy this time of calm, because pretty soon I’m going to call you to jump into the sea.
I think that time has come… it’s good to know I’m not alone.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

To commune with the lover of my soul...

How often do you do it? Once a week, once a month, the first Sunday of every 3rd month? It might just be something you take for granted... thinking its nothing too important or meaningful. In the past 2 years, I've only had the opportunity to take it three times. So as I heard the call to Communion on Sunday morning, I could not slow my rapidly beating heart.
As I thought about the words spoken, "Do this as often as you drink it in remembrance of me..." my Lord drew me to communion with him; not just on Sunday morning but every time my body is sustained by a piece of bread or my thirst quenched by a drink of water. This is what my Father is doing for me each time I commune with him. I am allowing His broken body to keep my earthly broken body moving forward until the day He calls me home. I am letting His blood quench my thirsty and dry soul.
This Sunday, unlike any before, as I chewed slowly on a small piece of bread, I asked the Lord to be the One who sustains my life every moment of every day. As tears mixed with the juice from this small cup, I asked that He would refresh me and give me a deeper thirst for him.
Jesus, thank you for drawing us to commune with you. Thank you for not leaving us alone and in our own filth. Thank you for your cleansing power and making a way for us to be with you. Thank you for WANTING to commune with ME, O Lover of my soul!