Sunday, May 23, 2010

It's still about Jesus...

What is the easiest comment to give any problem: Trust God. We throw this comment around like it is easy to say and to act upon, but in reality, this might be the single hardest thing we do every day.
I'm going to try right now and be real; not shiny, plastic, have-it-all-together Christian, but the real deal, I-struggle one who struggles to do what is right even when I want to!
Just the other day, I was telling my sister that we shouldn't freak out about wedding things, because they were so temporary. God even gave me an illustration: High School Graduation. As I was sitting at Baccalaureate I realized, I've been out of High School for 10 YEARS and it feels like forever ago. When I hear the kids say, "we finally made it" and "the next decisions of our lives are going to impact the rest of our lives," I just smile remembering the stress we all went through... the right grades, the right scholarships, the right school, the right graduation party... you name it, it all had to be RIGHT because THIS is the most important time of our lives!! But is it?
Fast forward 10 years and we are at a new stage of life: Getting married. And all the sudden I find myself worrying and stressing and planning. I need the right dress, the right place, the right food, the right people and all of the sudden we are back in high school again trying to keep up with our friends and make ourselves LOOK important.
This morning I heard Matt Chandler preach from Colossians 3:1-4. One of the things he said stuck out to me: We are so consumed with how God needs to fix our problems that we don't see the people around us and how simple our problems actually are (or something to that affect!) As we sang the next songs, I just reflected on how glorious our God is... that its not about me or my problems, but God STILL cares about them. Its like the Psalm that says, "He who forms the hearts of all, who considers EVERYTHING they do." He knows and understands us and the things we do far better than we know ourselves!
In all this goodness, you would think this "knowledge" that God had bestowed on me would work itself into my actions, right? God blessed me with something little and stupid, the dress that I loved for my wedding. Not only did he give it to me, he gave it to me on a silver platter... $200 off the original price! As I drove out to Mesquite to get it, I told God that if he wanted me to have the dress, it would be there. But if it wasn't than I knew he had something better. Oh, how spiritual I sounded in that moment... but just seconds later as I put on my perfect, "fits me like a glove" dress, my countenance changed as I realized my perfect dress was stretched out and not able to be ordered. Did I do what I had been learning all day? To trust God... NO. I freaked out and panicked and said, "WHY GOD!?" I am embarrassed even as I write it knowing that my life should be more important than a dress and my trust in God should last longer than it takes to try one on. At that moment, all I saw were my "big problems," not God's provision. For some reason I thought, 'THIS time God is going to screw me over. I knew his grace and provision for me was too good to be true.'
My sister brought me back to reality, prayed for me and off I went all the way across town to look at another store... in that 40 minute ride it took to get there, the Lord spoke to me, "This is part of your story... let me use even the dumbest and most trivial things to bring glory to myself. I consider everything you do." And I honestly believe that all this junk was to get me in the car for that long so that I could worship the Lord and sing, "So may the words I say and the the things I do make my lifesong sing bring a smile to you..."
And what did I find at the store? My dress waiting for me... why do I doubt? May he be given glory for even the smallest blessing. Though sometimes I loath the moments I fail, I am overjoyed that he calls me worthy to learn these truth, even if it is the hard way.

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